Live a Life of Love

I got rejected by a girl that I had kinda liked today. Got the line of "nothing more then friends" and I felt the all too familar punch in the stomach that goes with the territory. Needless to say this is not the first girl who has ever given me this "just friends" line. I got a little bummed at this news. So I started listening to sufjan steven's version of the hymn Come Thou Font. I just was struck by my favorite stanza of the song that goes:

Prone to wander, Lord, I feel it,
Prone to leave the God I love;
Here’s my heart, O take and seal it,
Seal it for Thy courts above.



With each girl I like, I'm allowing my heart to wander and dictate the life I'm demanding from God. Like a little kid who wants all the candy in the candy shop right now, that's what my heart is doing. Romans 5:8 is a favorite verse of mine for the simple fact it spells out just how much God is on our side. While we all were still in our sin, God sent His only son Jesus to die and raise again to give all us the life we did not deserve. That is how God once and for all showed His love to all of mankind and to me. For the first time I was not mad at God for the rejection of a girl. Why did I blame God? In my insanity I felt like God was just being mean to me about withholding a relationship. Yes, God is withholding a relationship from me but it is not because He is mean. The reason is that I'm no where near ready for the gift that He wants to give me at the right time. He wants me to be content in His love first and foremost. God keeps pointing me to the death and reserrection of Jesus and whispering, "Be content in that first. That's my ultimate demonstration of how dedicated my love is. Now make your love like that." Paul later writes in Ephesians 5:1-2, "Be imitators of God, therefore, as dearly loved children and live a life of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God." That is life that I want and am praying to have the strength to be like. "Live a life of love" is where I'm allowing God to take my life. I'm glad this rejection happened to snap me back into another bit of reality. To God be the glory, forever and ever. amen




When You could just be silent
And leave us here to die
Still, You sent Your Son for us
You are on our side
~Bethany Dillon

Welcoming back the God-light

I've been thinking about reality and how for nearly 4 years I didn't really want to deal with any sort of reality that would rain on my parade. Jesus says in John 3:19 [the message] "This is the crisis we're in: God-light streamed into the world, but men and women everywhere ran for the darkness. They went for the darkness because they were not really interested in pleasing God. Everyone who makes a practice of doing evil, addicted to denial and illusion, hates God-light and won't come near it, fearing a painful exposure. But anyone working and living in truth and reality welcomes God-light so the work can be seen for the God-work it is." God has poured out His life into my life the day I accepted the free grace that comes from admiting I've been rebelling against Him in my sin and that I turn from that sin to return to Him. Just like Jesus said, those who live in the darkness hate the light and in the last 4 years I've hiding, so I thought, in the dark areas of my life. I've made very ungodly unwise decisions lately. Are there consequences? Oh my gosh yes! I finally came within a hairs breath of becoming homeless. I was "addicted to denial and illusion" just like Jesus said I would be. The slow change that has been happening in my life has been in the "but" section of that verse. I've started letting God workin in my life that I can live in the "truth and reality" that comes from a God filled lifestyle. I'm slowly getting back to where i want to be. I'm committed to show that the God-work in my life is all giving Him glory and is about His grace not about my failures. I want my life "to be seen for the God-work it is." Amen.

Treasure

"For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also." Matthew 6:21

How God Works

Colossians 1:10ish-12 (the message)
"As you learn more and more how God works, you will learn how to do your work. We pray that you'll have the strength to stick it out over the long haul—not the grim strength of gritting your teeth but the glory-strength God gives. It is strength that endures the unendurable and spills over into joy, thanking the Father who makes us strong enough to take part in everything bright and beautiful that he has for us."



I was looking through some old notes on facebook and I came across the passage I had run across while reading through colossians. As I slowly get my life to where I want it to be, I find great peace in this passage. There's strength for everyday if I just ask God. And what a glorious strength that Paul describes. This strength is a glory-strength that endures all things and spills over into joy! That's the strength that I want my life to look like. The last three years I've been a poser pretending to be a follower of the way of Jesus. I was not living the truth that I had once made so known through my life. This over time is going to change. I'm finding strength in the daily routine of waking up at 7 or 8am and being a normal person. I had a very unhealthy lifestyle that was not a glory giving life that I wanted. There's a lot of change happening in my life and for once it's a good strength giving kind of change. I'm just at the point where I have no more excuses. I want my life to be a thanksgiving to "the Father who makes us strong enough to take part in everything bright and beautiful that he has for us." Amen.